January 25, 2010

Dr. Bill Webster – “When Someone You Care About Dies”

Two blogs back I mentioned that I had sent Francis a copy of the booklet “When Someone You Care About Dies” by Dr. Bill Webster.

Until quantities last, we are offering a copy of this booklet, without cost, to readers who respond.  Send an email to moc.snoitisnartdetsurtnull@ofni with the subject “Dr. Bill Webster’s Booklet” including your name and full mailing address and we will send you out a copy.

Grief is such a personal response. There is no right or wrong way to deal with it, though many try and bury it beneath a facade of “I am OK” as a way to cope. As with many of life’s difficult experiences, if they are “shelved”, “put on the back burner” or ignored, we never quite heal. Another event happens and the reaction sometimes multiplies as each experience is not truly acknowledged.

Dr. Webster’s 31 page booklet puts into words what I struggled with in my grief.  The death of someone also brings about “other losses”.  The death of a spouse may mean the loss of financial security. The death of a child may also “represent the end of the hopes and dreams we had for that child.”

He also delves into other life losses. “Any loss that causes a significant change to our lives is a life loss. Death is not the only significant life loss to cause a grief response.” When read, this statement brought with it a flood of personal scenarios, one of which was retiring from IBM.  I now believe I mourned that transition.

His outline of realities to be dealt with after a loss will help us cope not only with our losses, but help us understand the impact of losses to others.

He makes frequent suggestions of self discovery as you deal with your loss that I am sure will help all who take the time to review. The ending of his booklet provides some uplifting thoughts we need to hold on to.

“You have lost someone you care about. Although life is different now, you still have a life. You can make choices about how this loss will affect your life.  Choose to be thankful for the past. Chose to be resourceful in the present. Choose to be hopeful for the future.”

If you or someone you know may benefit from receiving this booklet, contact us with the information requested above and we will send it out to you.

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