September 13, 2010
If you are a Boomer like I am then you may recall this TV show that ran in the late fifties/early sixties. It was an early “game show” where women vied to gain the title and a lot of great prizes.
What is the connection to moving seniors? Last week we moved Ruth and Ed, a couple in their 80’s, to a Retirement Residence. Their son and daughter-in-law were also there during the process, helping to get things organized. From the time I arrived to start the packing it was clear that Ruth was suffering from a lot of anxiety about the move. As I had time to assess the situation I realized that it was because she wasn’t in control of the process. Her health had weakened and she really didn’t have the physical or emotional strength to make all the decisions and make things happen. However, that is exactly what she had spent her whole life doing. And she felt horrible that she couldn’t be in charge of the overwhelming task at hand.
So what to do? My suggestion is to tell the senior in your life that they’re going to be “Queen (or King!) for a Day” or two. For move day, plan an interesting outing that includes events that your “queen” or “king” would love to do. If you are managing the move you may need to enlist the help of friends or other family members to go with that special someone. Include an overnight stay so that when your “queen” or “king” arrives at their new home everything is unpacked and set up so that it looks a lot like home. You may not be able to put everything together exactly as they would have liked, but it will be good enough, and it will be a place for them to start as they make it their own.
The key to getting through the stressful event of a move is to make it fun. So treat the senior in your life like royalty, and give them a day they’ll never forget…..in a good way!
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August 26, 2010
At Trusted Transitions we manage moves for Seniors who are relocating, usually to smaller homes, often to Retirement Residences. When people hear this they often tell me that they, or their parents, will never leave their home…they are very happy there. I don’t try to talk them into moving. But I do point out the things that they should be thinking about if they intend to stay at home. The list often includes putting railings on stairs to prevent falls, ensuring that good meals are available to guarantee good nutrition, and arranging to have help for chores like gardening and snow removal to avoid overexertion.
When I moved a client last week I was reminded of another one of the most important things that needs to be done. And that is, regular, thorough cleanings of the home. When I first met this particular client her home looked impeccable. Tidy, bright, clean. But as we began to pack and move things, a very different story emerged. Everywhere that you couldn’t easily see, there was up to an inch of dust. Before long I was sneezing uncontrollably. Now dust isn’t “nice”, but worse than that it is incredibly unhealthy and can even be dangerous. Common household dust often contains many toxic elements and breathing them on an ongoing basis is not good. If you have any respiratory issues, dust will only make them worse.
Remember to vacuum under beds and other furniture. Dust inside cupboards and around all hidden surfaces. Check the tops of high places like tall lamps and furniture. Or have a quality cleaning firm come into the home for this thorough cleaning on a regular basis.
If you or your loved one are going to stay in your long-time home, you should be sure that it is a healthy, safe environment.
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August 16, 2010
If you have had the experience of moving older family members to a new home you have seen first hand how much stress these moves can cause. I have recently become aware of the labelling of this phenomenon as Relocation Stress Syndrome, or transfer trauma. It is thought that RSS can affect behaviour, mood, morbidity and even mortality. Symptoms can include sleeplessness, anxiety, depression and disorientation. If the senior already suffers from dementia, physical frailty or sensory impairment there can be additional confusion and agitation. The effects can be worse if the move is not being made by choice, and may still exist even if the senior had made a willing decision.
There are things that you can do to try to minimize Relocation Stress Syndrome.
1. Start the planning and discussion phase as early as possible. This will allow time to uncover and think through your choices, and not feel pressured into making hasty decisions.
2. Allow the senior to participate in the decision and planning process. Try as much as possible to honour their preferences and address their concerns.
3. Minimize the amount of time that their regular routines are disrupted. We try to do the packing and moving in a two day timeframe. It may be advisable to have them visit family or friends during that period.
4. Set up the new home as much as possible to replicate the layout and feel of the old home.
5. If you have amassed a team (family, friends and professionals) to make the move happen, communication throughout the process is critical. Surprises will only increase the stress of the move.
As Senior Move Managers we have years of experience helping families deal with the stress of a later life move. Contact us to set up a no charge consultation to discuss your individual situation.
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August 3, 2010
I was working with a few different clients this past week when I had one of those “AHA” moments.
In one case I was moving a senior to a Retirement Residence from the 2 bedroom apartment she had lived in for the past six years. She moved there sometime after her husband passed away, and no longer wanted or needed the big house. Her apartment was spacious and the furnishings were well laid out. Of course not everything was going to fit into her new, smaller one bedroom suite. So we set about identifying and eliminating things she wouldn’t need any more, and things she had no strong feelings about keeping. That was downsizing. It was an organized process. It wasn’t easy. But we took it slowly and over a few days she kept adding items to the reject pile. And we even did a little more after she moved into her new home as it was somewhat more crowded than she liked.
In another case we are clearing a home to sell it. Staging it. We found a 30 by 12 foot room in the basement that you could barely walk into at the beginning. It was full of things that had been replaced by the homeowner at some point in the past. There were boxes and boxes of glasses and dishes…some wrapped in newspapers dated 1994. There were beautiful comforters and quilts, now useless because the dampness of the basement (and a few mouse holes) had ruined them. That was decluttering. It was an ugly process, and it was sad that so many things had been sitting there for some many years when they could have been used by someone in need.
You don’t have to be moving to downsize. You can downsize (or rightsize) as you go through life. Downsizing is a much easier process, and done regularly you can avoid going through an ugly decluttering procedure!
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July 9, 2010
As with so many other questions, the answer is, “It Depends”. Usually when people ask me if there are waiting lists for Retirement Residences my answer is that typically there are not. But there are exceptions to every rule.
This week I visited Christie Gardens which is located at Dupont and Christie in Toronto. They have been in business for 25 years and have a facility that seems to combine the best of the old and the new. This makes them very popular. So I shouldn’t have been surprised when I was told that the waiting time for one of their life lease units could be 12 to 18 months.
If you are planning ahead and visiting residences just so that you have an idea of where you would like to go should the need arise or the spirit move you, being told about the wait time would be a great early warning bell to alert you to put yourself on the list.
But if you didn’t plan ahead, and you need to make the change soon, you are probably out of luck. Strike Christie Gardens off your list. That might be okay though, because there are still a lot of Retirement Residences in the city. But if you are like the client that I am doing a search for….that is you have some unique requirements that Christie Gardens fills nicely, then it is really unfortunate. If you go somewhere else you may be making more compromises than you had hoped.
You never know what lies ahead. Scouting the terrain can tip you off to things like waiting lists early, which may make your life much easier in the future.
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