October 5, 2009
Move on…you’ve got a lot to live for!
After reading an article called “Moving by Choice, Knowing Your Options” featured in last month’s Elderwise Newsletter and speaking to a client yesterday about his upcoming move, I had the idea for this blog.
I have often thought that although we eagerly move residences between the ages of 20 and 60, we eventually reach an age and say we will never leave our homes.
So why are some of our clients moving?
- Mr. T. has decided to leave his 2 story family home and move to a maintenance free bungalow in a retirement community outside of the city. There he met two residents who were long time acquaintances he had lost touch with. He’s excited about rekindling these friendships and having everything looked after for him.
- 96 year old Rita has decided to move from her family home into a retirement residence out of town to be closer to her nieces, her only family.
- At 90, Mrs. A. is an experienced mover. When her husband died 10 years ago she sold the family home and moved into a condo. Circumstance had her move into her daughter’s home for a short time. When the youngsters became too much for her, she decided a retirement residence was a better alternative. She recently became the librarian of the residence, is meeting a ton of people and is having a ball.
- As a respite against the winter months in the country, my soon to be 89 year old Dad was thinking of taking advantage of the short term furnished accommodations at a retirement residence in Toronto. Instead, my brother offered to have him visit him in Vancouver where he will have his own bedroom and bath and daily chess at the local mall. As fall comes to an end, he’ll be heading for the airport for a 5 week trip.
I admire these brave folks who want to continue to enjoy life. No matter what age, life is too short not to be happy and fulfilled! Go on. Take a chance. Make the move!
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August 19, 2009
I know. It sounds awful. But I’ve noticed this lack of enthusiasm afflicts some folks no matter what their age. “Been there, done that.”
My Dad’s favourite saying is he “doesn’t buy green bananas”. Meaning, he may not be around long enough to eat them. He’s always laughing when he says that. Thank goodness he doesn’t mean it.
He just finds it hard to believe he is as old as he is. His body reminds him that he is 89, but his mind refuses to accept it. So he does things in order to “live by enthusiasm”. While in Cayman with my brother he went snorkeling for the first time at 88. He still cuts his ½ acre lot by himself on a riding lawn mower. Having successfully passed his driver’s test 5 times now, he recently bought a new used car and continues to live independently since my Mom passed away 3 years ago.
He also knows and acknowledges when he needs to ask for help. He would always say to me, “Make smart choices”, and now he reminds himself of the same thing.
No more climbing on ladders to clean out the eaves droughts or paint the house – he gets help for those chores. Living alone in a rather secluded house, he has a personal alarm system so he can call for help if he needs it. Since he doesn’t like cooking for one and was concerned about eating poorly, he’s asked me to make him some freezer meals that he can easily cook or warm up or he heads up to the local Chinese buffet for a great meal.
So what’s the message in this blog? Don’t give up life’s pleasures because you can’t be bothered or think you are too old or are just bored. Try new things and be sure to keep doing all the things that give you pleasure. Make smart choices so you can continue to live the life you want, where you want.
Trusted Transitions can help you define what you could do to make life in your home more enjoyable, allowing you to stay there longer. Many times it is simple alterations that bring such ease.
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August 12, 2009
Every time we go somewhere – home is always best. Visiting friends and family or hotels stays, nothing beats coming home to your own place with all its sights, sounds and smells!
The last blog we had made mention of small changes my Dad made to his lifestyle so that he could stay in his own home longer. Doing some additional research, I came across some booklets available free of charge from Central Mortgage and Housing Corporation (CMHC) on “Maintaining Seniors’ Independence through Home Adaptations”. Although many seniors choose to stay in their homes as long as possible, some homes are not suited to meet our changing needs as we age. This handy assessment tool looks at all aspects of your house including getting in and out of it, stairs, set up of the kitchen, light and ventilation. The corrections it suggests can be completed by family members or contractors. CMHC also provides information on The Home Adaptations for Seniors’ Independence (HASI) program which offers financial assistance for minor home adaptations to help low-income seniors. Click on the links within this blog for more information and access to the assessment tools.
SMILE is a program run by the Victorian Order of Nurses (VON) to help seniors stay in their homes. Services provided free of charge are the following:
• Meals
• Routine housekeeping
• Shopping
• Laundry (including wash and fold services)
• Running errands
• Transportation to and from health care appointments
• Seasonal outdoor chores and grounds keeping
There are also some changes you can make in your home along the lines of decluttering or organizing that will make it easier to live in, keep clean and just enjoy it that much more. Our Decluttering Checklist is a great place to start. If it all seems a little daunting, you can also call us to come over and get you organized so you can enjoy your home for as long as possible.
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August 5, 2009
I recently read an article that stated the importance of every adult having a will, power of attorney for personal care and power of attorney for property. In a previous blog we discussed the importance of these, and the importance of revisiting them when things change.
Revisiting my will, and keeping “Do your givin’ while you’re livin’ “ in mind, I realized I had bequeathed my mahogany dining room suite to my daughter. She has her own furnished home now, and the way furniture styles have changed over the years, I questioned if she really would want it.
Her answer was yes and no. Yes, she would love to have it since it has wonderful memories and is mine. However, she confessed (she didn’t want to hurt my feelings) she really doesn’t have the space for it in her tiny condo, nor is it her style. My brothers or nephews aren’t interested in it either.
As I am going through a period of transition myself, I suspect that my next move, (probably a condo) won’t accommodate this beautiful suite. In reality, I use it maybe once or twice a year though it gets lovingly polished every two weeks.
I will have to make a decision to sell it or not. I have shopped around to see what old dining room suites are worth and I am unpleasantly surprised. Although it was bought for a song at an auction before I wed, it does not have the value I had hoped it would. I realize the value a dealer would give me for the piece is approximately half of what he would try and sell it for. That’s disheartening.
So what is my conclusion? I will keep it as long as it “fits” into my life. Then I will find someone who will really love it. And although I won’t get the value I think it deserves, my satisfaction will come from knowing someone cherishes it as much as I did!
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July 29, 2009
The Museum of Modern Art in New York has a show continuing through Sept. 21 titled “Waste Not”. Listen to the story of artist Song Dong (from the New York Times).
“When Mr. Song’s father died in 2002 his mother was inconsolable. She continued to live in the jammed Beijing house, throwing nothing away and obsessively bringing more stuff into it, as if continuing to feather a nest for a now-absent family. And despite the threatened destruction of the surrounding area, she would make no move that entailed parting with her possessions.”
“Finally in 2005 Mr. Song proposed that they turn the accumulated junk into an art project. In that way, he argued, nothing would be discarded and lost; everything would be meaningfully recycled and preserved.”
“They sorted the contents into meticulous piles and groupings. As a finishing touch, Mr. Song created a neon sign reading, ‘Dad, don’t worry, Mum and we are fine,’ and hung it over the installation.”
When we are moving Seniors or providing Executor Assistance, we often meet people who react to their loss the same way Mr. Song’s mom did. Although we aren’t all artists with his talent, the concept of artfully dealing with the most treasured possessions is a good one. The benefit is that mom is living in a safer and more liveable situation. Think about how you might do this with someone you know.
Read the full NY Times article at http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/15/arts/design/15song.html
or visit http://www.moma.org/visit/calendar/exhibitions/961
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